Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
