If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
