So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I need help removing her.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
