I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
