I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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