come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
