Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
