a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
