i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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