I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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