Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
