Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
