definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
