Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
