I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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