so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
