You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
