It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
