So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
