Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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