Whod you bang
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
