We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
