I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
