please come you make the beer taste better
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
