Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You need Xanax blowdarts
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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