just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
