dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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