It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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