STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i used baking grease as lip gloss
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
