I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Green mimosas i think yes
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
