You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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