oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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