Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
