He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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