Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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