well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
