It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
