There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
