Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This baby is an asshole
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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