Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
