Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
