i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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