**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
