meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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