just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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