okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
