If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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