if i can run in heels then i can drive
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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