I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so let's talk penis.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
