So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
you never un-have a 4some
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