just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
