Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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