get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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