Just fell off a train. Bad.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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