i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
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I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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