He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
