If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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