found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
