VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
