oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
