Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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